The Complete Idiot's Guide to Organising an Overseas Trip

Step 1. Find a destination - Japan is ideal. Find an agent. Planning a successful trip on your own is impossible unless you have some knowledge of airline websites, hotel websites and the Frommer's Guides.

Step 2. Come up with a good itenary - quite hard, but doable. Disney is a good way to please the people going. A good concert never hurt anyone either. It should look quite well thought out. Don't cut costs - even if a cheaper, better alternative is available, don't consider it.

Step 3. Convince people to go. This is remarkably easy when a subsidy is available, but if one is not, it doesn't hurt to mention one anyway. If you are the overriding source of the money, it helps to offer a subsidy just to get interest going. You can always withdraw it later anyway.

Step 4. Don't reveal the dates and prices. Although this may scare a few people away, it adds a good element of surprise. Instead, reveal the month (at least), and a safe maximum price, preferably one that should be able to get you a good trip somewhere farther, such as the USA. This gives a wide safety margin.

Step 5. The fewer the number of people, the better. It helps persuade people to go if you use basic statistic theory. For instance, instead of multiplying your results and your sample size at the same time, just multiply the sample size. This makes the number look smaller than it actually is.

Step 6. Do not give ample time to the people going to consider any changes, and demand an immediate answer from them. Inefficiency will not be tolerated.

Step 7. If there are too few people, so be it. Asking for other people who might want to go to join in is sacrilege, it taints the sacred organisation you belong to. Even those who once belonged to the organisation do not deserve the exclusive privelege.

Step 8. Never use profits from previous events to fund the trip, or allow others to do so. Think of all the needy sportsmen who could benefit as a result of the hard-earned profits.

Step 9. A simple straw poll will usually do to gauge numbers. There is no need to waste precious energy, effort, time and money to conduct a proper poll using email or sms, since the people who didn't go for the straw poll do not deserve to be considered, no matter how legitimate the excuse.

Step 10. Corporations are evil. It is wrong to accept a few tens of thousands of dollars from them in exchange for putting their logo somewhere on the brochures for the event, even if you need the money.

Step 11. Should any of the members in the organisation try to work in order to gain money for the trip, reprimand them immediately. This is highly deplorable behaviour which needs to be rooted out.

Step 12. Always promise more than you can deliver. Hope, even false hope, is something the whole world thrives on.

Thank you for reading through this short sample on organising an overseas trip. Please contact the author if you would like further advice. As a special gift for reading this far, you can receive a bonus hint, below. This bonus hint can be applied to all situations, not just this one

BONUS HINT: Always do everything yourself. It is childish, immature and weak to ask for help. If you cannot handle it, bluff. The plebians are not worthy of your attention, and the aristocracy should be content in doing their assigned jobs.